Car Accidents and Tears

I was going to go to InXtreme tonight but Mags totalled her car on the freeway and is quite obviously shaken up about it and doesn't want to go out tonight. So I'm not going to go. I'm too much of a wuss and way too shy to go on my own. Perhaps next week? Sounds good.

Last week Tuesday, I talked to Ryan for almost an hour and a half. It felt really good. It felt really good to hear his voice. I think I may try to phone him tonight. Just a short chat or something.

I ran into his father at the mall today. Ha ha. That was the longest I've ever talked to him before. Here I was thinking Ryan called his family a lot...turns out not so much. His father didn't know very much at all and I had to fill him in. It was embarassing. I wish Ryan had told him more.

I've been reading some really good books lately that have helped me understand my problems. I've been crying a lot as a result. I hope I figure things out. I want to be normal for Ryan. I mean, I want to who I am really...yeah, I want to be that for him. He doesn't deserve headcase gf. Nope, not at all.

I bought Bedouin Soundclash's Sounding a Mosaic today. It's awesome possum. My mom even likes it...

I applied at Mags' work today and talked to the district manager of this particularly chain of resteraunts. She told me to come in tomorrow around 10.

Suddenly, I feel very tired.

PHOTO: I took this in Ryan's hometown right by the trainstation on the wharf. That has to be one of my favourite spots. I miss that place a lot. I remember the day I took this, it was raining...but only a little bit. There was this poster nailed to a little information building on the wharf, it was a list of jazz performances during the summer. Summer seemed so far away when we were reading that. I cannot wait until Ryan is home for good. I have my licence and will have a car, the possibilities for adventure are endless.