Friday, October 28, 2005


I got the job at Mag's work, but I quit about 4 days later because it really wasn't for me. I'm kind of lazy like that and I often don't like to give things a try because I'm scared. I'm a scaredy-cat and a lazyass, so sue me.

Anyway, lately there have been numerous car buying opportunities for me but the cars have been snatched up before I could test drive them. Kind of sad as I desperately want a car of my own.

I went to InXtreme last wednesday with Mags. I liked made me feel very nostalgic and all that good warm yummy jazz. Unfortunately I knew some people there. This guy I used to have a major crush on and I'm sure he knew it too, was there, as well as a few girls from school and a guy I knew from my old youth. I wish I knew more of the songs that were played and the only reason I knew half of them was because I'd gone to Ryan's church and sung them there. The sound was good and the lighting and the atmosphere. I felt very welcomed, but not pressured. It was nice. I hope to go again without Mags. Scratch that, I hope to have enough courage to go again without Mags.

I had a good day at work, for once, except I found out some things about my supervisor that changed my mind about her...and not in a good way.

I can't wait for Christmas. It's going to be so amazing this year.

PHOTO: Took this in Victoria, British Columbia about 2 years ago. I was in the school senior band and we toured the island in about 4 or 5 days, I can't really remember. It was a pretty good trip, but I was anxious for most of it. Anyway, I liked this photo a lot, except it's pretty boring.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Car Accidents and Tears

I was going to go to InXtreme tonight but Mags totalled her car on the freeway and is quite obviously shaken up about it and doesn't want to go out tonight. So I'm not going to go. I'm too much of a wuss and way too shy to go on my own. Perhaps next week? Sounds good.

Last week Tuesday, I talked to Ryan for almost an hour and a half. It felt really good. It felt really good to hear his voice. I think I may try to phone him tonight. Just a short chat or something.

I ran into his father at the mall today. Ha ha. That was the longest I've ever talked to him before. Here I was thinking Ryan called his family a lot...turns out not so much. His father didn't know very much at all and I had to fill him in. It was embarassing. I wish Ryan had told him more.

I've been reading some really good books lately that have helped me understand my problems. I've been crying a lot as a result. I hope I figure things out. I want to be normal for Ryan. I mean, I want to who I am really...yeah, I want to be that for him. He doesn't deserve headcase gf. Nope, not at all.

I bought Bedouin Soundclash's Sounding a Mosaic today. It's awesome possum. My mom even likes it...

I applied at Mags' work today and talked to the district manager of this particularly chain of resteraunts. She told me to come in tomorrow around 10.

Suddenly, I feel very tired.

PHOTO: I took this in Ryan's hometown right by the trainstation on the wharf. That has to be one of my favourite spots. I miss that place a lot. I remember the day I took this, it was raining...but only a little bit. There was this poster nailed to a little information building on the wharf, it was a list of jazz performances during the summer. Summer seemed so far away when we were reading that. I cannot wait until Ryan is home for good. I have my licence and will have a car, the possibilities for adventure are endless.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Calling Card

I spoke with my cousin, Libby, tonight who's in Japan. It was really cool, actually. Very clear and just wonderful to talk with her. Turns out that you can get about 280 min. for $20 at Wal-Mart. I don't really know how it works. Like, do I need one for Japan specifically or is it universally international. If it is that, I'm totally getting one so I can call Mexico as well. It would be so awesome to hear Ryan's voice.

Unfortunately the last time I emailed Ryan and asked for his phone number in Toluca, he didn't answer because he didn't have time. He just had time to say a quick "I love you" and that he's doing fine. I was more than a bit worried, so it was good to hear that.

I don't know what else to say. I don't seem to be updating this blog much. Not that anyone checks it. Har har har...honestly.

I downloaded the entire first season of Scrubs last week and I've finished watching all the episodes already. It took me nearly a week to download it so...season 2 is going to be a while.

I'm glad my favourite tv shows have come back. During the summer, because nothing was on, my boyfriend was in Mexico, and I could only hang out with my friend's so much, I basically played on the computer all of August. *nerd* Now, with Veronica Mars, Desperate Housewives, Gilmore Girls, and Everwood all back...I've got stuff to do! Woooooot.

(oh yeah, I'm getting much better at CS too. Today, I was actually in the black with my score...pretty rad taffy, if you ask me)

PHOTO: My first ever attempt at using the "multiple exposures on a single frame" option on my camera. I'm quite pleased with the result. Cropped and added a huge ass border to it that I think should really be trimmed but I really don't have the time/motivation to do it.