Monday, September 26, 2005

Still I Wish I Was By Your Side

California - Sarah Slean

I'm looking for another job and have an interview on Thursday for this small bookstore in the mall. I'm pretty excited but also nervous...obviously. Mags said nerves are good, they keep you on your toes. So I guess I'm pretty set. I'm going to be on my tippy toes and I might even break a few.

I'm going to Warriors Unleashed, this Christian conferance thing. I'm a little wary because I don't know what to expect.

I'm also really into Through Painted Deserts by Donald Miller. It's a good book, well written, thoughtprovoking and thoughtful, and there's humour too. Oh, did I mention there's a VW in it? Yeah, that's another reason I like it.

I saw the sweetest Jetta today while I was walking around downtown. Slick black, boxy (I hate "bubble" cars...the one's with smooth edges. Bleck), shiny, and the sunroof was propped open. I don't know what year it was...but it was nice. I think the driver thought I was checking him out, though. I should be more careful where my eyes go...

PHOTO: I love Photoshop. The was taken one evening near Mags' house. Beautiful sunset that I "enhanced" in photoshop. Brought out the colours more, enriched the tones....that jazz. I love this photo because of the silhouettes and the rule of thirds action. It's a cliché photo...everyone does sunsets, but I really like this.

Thursday, September 22, 2005


My mom said I don't talk about you very much.
It hurts too much.
It hurts like hell.
It's too embarassing.
I'm incredibly weak.
I let a part of me be taken.
I was independent once.
I relied on no one.
(not even God)
Thank you for changing that.
Even though this hurts like hell.

I had a dream you were back.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Giving up

Yup. Just as the title says. I'm about this close to giving up on Mexico. I haven't heard anything. No one is doing anything. I mean, it's no one's fault. I just don't think it's going to happen at all. I need to move on with my life. I've been sitting and waiting around for a month. I'm wasting my time, I think. I need to look for full time employment and start researching education options.

What hurts the most, is how wrong I was. I mean, how could I be so off about Mexico? I thought God was calling me there. I honestly did. Did I give up? Did God? What happened? I can't help thinking that because I didn't give up something I've been trying to give up, God closed the door. I'm hoping the window he opens is a new job...a new satisfying job.

I had to say goodbye to one of my best friends and cousin, Libby, last Tuesday. She left for Japan to study for about 10 months. Libby is one of the most inspirational people I know. She's so charismatic and so original, I really do look up to her. She says she looks up to me, too. It's nice to know it's reciprocated. Libby is the only girl I can play video games with and be equally matched. Halo, Goldeneye, Mario Party. All of them. We're pretty much equal, except sometimes...I lose more often. Weird, I really miss Street Fighter. She was Cami, I Chun-Li (or Sakura, depending on the version). Good times good times. I'm going to miss her.

PHOTO: Lib 2005. Before we went on a little photo trip. Funny, we never ended up taking pictures.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Counter-Strike 1.6

I'm addicted to CS. I cannot believe it.

Years ago (2?), Jeremy tried to get me to play. He said, "You'll like it. It's just like Goldeneye. It's a First Person Shooter." He said it like I was utterly daft and didn't know what a FPS was. Hmph. Anyway, I tried it twice. I didn't like playing an FPS on the computer. I wasn't used to the controls. It was so wrong to use both the mouse and keyboard. I was used to Playstation or N64 controllers. This was utterly WHACKED.

Flash forward a few years (2?), Ryan and Billy go to an internet cafè to play a LAN game for a few hours. I was not going to sit around and watch for those "few hours" and plus, someone paid for me. So here I am. Complete and total noob to the internet café experience and total computer loser. I mean, I know a few things as Jeremy has told me lots and I'm partially self-taught. But man, this was just weird...being in a room full of so many Asian nerds. Well, they weren't all Asian. But the majority...

I sucked. Man, did I SUCK. It was like spawn, headshot, dead, observe. That was the cycle I went through. After a while, I started to loosen up. I started to enjoy it. I even managed to frag a few people.

Now that Ryan is in Mexico and my work hours have been greatly lessened by my supervisor. I've been practising my CS skillz for hours on end. Yes, I do realize how much of a loser this makes me. But I'm really really enjoying playing online now. I know what I'm doing, sort of, and I no longer feel like such a complete nub.

Hello, my name is Kristall, and I'm a CS-aholic. It's been half an hour since my last fix. My wallpaper is CS and I dream CS. I feel extremely sheepish. Jeremy was so right. I will try and keep my obsession to a minimum, however. I don't think I should branch out into HL, DOD, or BF. I don't have the money or skillz, just yet.

PHOTO: I went through some of my old photos that I'd taken with my Kodak Advantix. I found this one completely at random. It just fell out of a stack. This is Jeremy January 4 2003, in the room I hope to be moving into sans beer cans, Tragically Hip poster, and horrid curtains. Can you see what he's playing? He's been at it a while. I love my brothers, but Jeremy is such a dork, he used that headset religously...even at 2:00 in the morning, I could hear him "nice shot. ha ha. behind you." I think he's in the corridor in de_aztec.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Passport Madness

So still two people who I need to talk to each other, have not talked to each other. It's been more than a week. I'm no longer nervous about it because I understand, I think, that God wants me to wait. I don't know why, but He does. So I've got to accept that, as difficult as it is.

I got my passport last Friday. I left for the post office at 3:30. There were two people working there that didn't have a clue what they were doing. I had to be at work at 4. Several screwed up money orders later, I got my package at 3:59. It takes me 12 minutes to get to my work from that post office. I was 20 min. late for work because traffic was bad. I was a bit on should I say this?, freaking out side. I cannot stand being late. I get nervous and scatterbrained and and...I begin to hyperventilate. I hate being late. I HATE BEING LATE.

Soooo anyway. The Thousand Foot Krutch concert rocked. Manafest, Nifty, Gaetz Ave., and Stereotap (sp?) played as well. But it was pretty obvious everyone was there for TFK.

I took a bunch of photos the other day. I will probably use a few to decorate this blog as soon as I get them developed and scanned. Ahhh scanned. That reminds me. I need to clean our scanner. It's such a mess.

PHOTOS: Both pictures are the same. I just manipulated the bottom one to make it presentable. I love Photoshop! I should probably watermark them to be safe, but I honestly don't think they're good enough to be ripped off. Which do you think is better?

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Calm, Cool, Cucumber

I haven't been eating lately. I miss Ryan and food reminds me of him. I don't know if that's a good thing or not. On a side note, I have been walking more and eating lots of cucumbers. That must be good.
I still haven't received my passport. I'm a bit disappointed. I like knowing I've got one. They're so official.

Toluca is beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.