Yay!

I get to see Ryan in 20 days! Just 20 days! That's it. No more counting in months, now it's just 20 days!

I'm really excited, can't you tell? My mom, Mags, and I are going to Seattle on a mini-vacation and then picking Ryan up from the airport. It's so going to rock. I'll probably just hold him and never let him go...could be a problem though... >_<

So that's on the 20th, then on the 23rd I'm planning a little Christmas party. I want to go skating but it seems as though more than half my friends either can't skate or don't like to skate. Tiresome, since I love it and haven't been for about 3 or 4 years...since my operation. Oh well, getting excited about that too.

I've been walking a lot lately...trying to fit it into my daily routine. It took me an hour to walk to the post office today and yesterday I walked to pick up my mom from school which was uphill and took me 40 min or so. Anyway, I hope I getting fitter.

PHOTO: Self portrait and me trying to be all artistic. I think it looks a little awkward, but I like my bandaid.

Christmas stuff

It's the first Sunday of Advent. When I was younger, my family would gather around the advent wreath and light a candle, read scripture, and sing some carols. My dad was there because my mom wanted him there, my brothers were there for the fire (both pyromaniacs), and I was there because I love traditions. Now, my father has to be dragged there to sit through it, my brother grumbles the entire time, and my mother and I smile and pretend our family is full of love.

There are times I think my parents are going to get divorced. It used to frighten me as a child, but now, I just worry.

Today, my mother and I set up the tree. I love doing this. I drag the 40 pound artifical Christmas tree box up two flights of stairs, set it up with my ass in the air and my face pressed against the vent in the floor and my fingers frantically trying not to get squished as the heavy top piece slides into the metal tubing. It's my favourite part. We listen to Boney M when we do it too.

Then my mom will put on the lights (because I can't do it and stay symmetrical) and then the beaded garlands. I liked to play with them when I was younger. I'd wrap them around me, make crowns, necklaces, and...nooses. Afterward we had to force my brothers to put their ornaments on the tree (grumbling the entire time) and then mom and I would happily put ours on, pretending the entire time that what my brothers just did didn't hurt us a little. Then comes the tinsle...which I love. It's silver and stringy and a bitch to clean up.

I took an entire roll of photos this year. The lights were just amazing...shining off my mom's glasses and off the sparkly ornaments. I can't wait to get them developed.

Wasting Time

So yesterday at work, I wasted company time like the dickens. I wrote a really long letter to Libby and used all my available resources (bookstore stickers, sticky envelopes, whiteout, highlighters) to make it look very cool. That took me about an hour and a half...so it was great.

But I get to work all weekend and there's really nothing to do there so...I'm going to be at a loss for what to do.

I'm working both Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve. Luckily, though, it's just until 6 and not later. Otherwise, I would've been pissed. Got big plans for New Year's Eve this year...I mean, I hope they come to fruition.

So after some speculating, it seems as though the family graphics card is going. It's old and the fan is making hilarious noises. It sounds angry and like it's growling at me. Anyway, this means that we will hopefully be buying an uber good one soon....hopefully.

PHOTO: My headboard. Where the tealight holder is usually where my stereo goes, but I moved it during the power outage we'd experienced that night. There's a lot of vodka in that goblet...

Happiness

This is my "clean" blog. I don't think anyone reads it, but it's the link I give out when people ask to see my blog. There's no swearing, some pretty pictures, and I keep the moping to a minimum.

I've been put on Effexor. I've only been taking it for 2 days but I've been feeling some of the side effects: nausea, loss of appetite (which is in my case, good), sleeplessness and sleepiness, and I'm pretty dizzy. My doctor said it would take about 2 weeks before I'd notice a change, so...here's hoping.

It's only 9:00pm but I can barely keep my eyes open. 46 days until Ryan comes back for Christmas!

Lately I've been listening to more angry music, especially The Used, My Chemical Romance, Tool, and Billy Talent. I don't know what changed, but I'm fine with it.

I'm painting my room "Souvenir" tomorrow. Should be nice hardwork. Man, I'm tired.

PHOTO: Thought I'd do something different. That's a self-portrait and I used the note paper filter in Photoshop to make it look so freaking cool. Good stuff, good stuff.